I am a Doula, and no, I don't have kids.
Most people assume that because I work with women giving birth I experienced birth myself. They probably think so because I love babies and hence I must have had my owns. People ask why I am a doula if I don't have kids. After many times I still feel weird when someone ask this. I never heard someone asking to a psychologist if she has her own problems and traumas. When I am asked this question I immediately think things like: so, if you are bald you can't be a hairdresser? Some people believe that you learn only from your own experiences. And yes, definitely we do. However, we do not need to experience exactly the same thing to understand and support other humans, right? Imagine if I call a friend to talk about my problems and my friend answers " Sorry, I never had that problem in my life so I can't support you". In fact, as doulas one of ours goals is not let our own experiences interfere with our role and work. Women trust us because they feel safe, because they want a third column to hold that building they care and protect. Our job is to support them regardless what we lived in our own experience. We walk that path with them, we support decisions, we point on where to find information in order for the mother to make informed decisions. We collect experiences that make us wiser and our skills improve day by day without comparing with experiences you had as woman and mother. This one is another journey with a different route and different emotions involved, is a different person and another and unique little human is about to arrive. Being a doula is not about being a mother, but is about knowing how to mother others. No, I don't have my own kids. I have never been pregnant. But I love what I do. I am passionate about birth, babies and human evolution. I am in a constant learning process and the day I will become a mother another pathway will begin in my life.